


Struggling to Find Steady Ground

by ashintuku



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gift Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2168892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashintuku/pseuds/ashintuku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reinhild Cadash is not used to having anything like a 'day off' - not since the Breach opened above the peace talks at the Temple and killed everyone there - except for her. Not since she became the Inquisitor. No, days off were quite foreign to her. </p><p>So when she finally gets one, she doesn't know what to do - or how to make sure her busy mind doesn't get the best of her. Thankfully, she has help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Struggling to Find Steady Ground

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reynebowbridge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reynebowbridge/gifts).



It was not often that they got a moment to themselves.

 

When Reinhild Cadash had gone to the War Room that morning, her advisors had told her that there was nothing to report that day. A few of Leliana's agents were still out in the field, keeping quiet to ensure their work would not be detected, while Josephine had reported that all political disagreements had, for a time, been dealt with, with minimal fuss. Ser Cullen had added that they had received a few new recruits for the army, but as for the front lines, things were quiet.

 

Reinhild was not sure how to react to such news, quietly wondering if they were telling her the truth or if they were keeping quiet because they had noticed cracks in her confident persona, but she accepted it with all the grace she could muster, mimicking Vivienne or Dorian and walking away. She had returned to her room, then, sitting at her desk and shuffling the reports on her desk around to feel busy.

 

Yet after only a few minutes, she began to feel restless.

 

She was pacing the length of her room when a knock came at the door, and she looked over and up (and up and _up_ ) to see the Iron Bull standing there.

 

He had a grin on his scarred lips and his good eye seemed to be laughing at her, his posture relaxed against the doorframe. She wondered for a moment if Iron Bull ever had to turn his head to the side and duck in order to get through doorways - seeing as _most_ of the doors in the Keep had been built with humans in mind, not horned Qunari giants.

 

The thought made her press her hands to her mouth, stifling a giggle.

 

"Something funny, Cadash?" he asked, his voice a deep rumble that reminded her of tumbling stones. Maybe that's why she started liking him so much; he was almost familiar to her, as steady and dependable as the Stone itself.

 

Maybe she was drawn to him because he offered her a connection to something she had lost when her family had been disgraced and they went topside, burrowing into Carta politics and becoming criminals in the eyes of their cousins still in Orzammar.

 

Reinhild sighed a little, dropping her hands, before shaking her head and smiling faintly up at the Qunari mercenary. He quirked a brow, watching her curiously.

 

"Oh, it's nothing," she insisted, waving her hand about and smiling a little wider. "My mind's all over the place today - I guess this is what happens when I don't have something to focus on!"

 

"Nothin' to focus on, hm?" Bull smirked, stepping into her room after ducking his head a bit and turning it - well, that answers that, then! - before walking over to her. Now that he was closer, their height difference was painfully obviously - painfully because Reinhild could feel a crick developing in her neck. Not that she'd say anything. "Want me to give ya somethin' to focus on, then?"

 

Reinhild blinked, her heart stuttering a bit in her chest.

 

"...Like what?" she asked, folding her arms behind her back and curling her hands into fists. Bull's smirk widened, as if he knew where her thoughts had taken her, before jerking a thumb to her window - where she could see the training grounds, a few recruits going through their paces under Ser Cullen's watchful stare.

 

"Get rid of some of that pent-up energy through a good spar, of course. Maybe have a drink afterwards. See if that calms you down enough."

 

Reinhild almost asked him what they would do if it didn't, but she bit her tongue and smiled widely instead, turning and grabbing her draggers from where'd she'd put them the day before.

 

"Sounds good to me, Bull - I'll meet you out there?"

 

"You'll see me," he affirmed, and Reinhild snorted.

 

"I think the entire Keep can see you, Bull - you're not exactly _small_ like some of us!"

 

"Eh," Iron Bull shrugged his massive shoulders, squeezing himself back out of the door and throwing a grin back at the Inquisitor, "even the smallest of us stands out in their own ways. See you down there!"

 

He left, his words falling around Reinhild heavily, like a blanket over her shoulders, before she finished strapping on her daggers and made her way out of her room, closing the door behind her.

 

Hopefully this sparring idea would actually help.

 

~+~

 

She ducked down from a massive swing, rolling away from the giant blade in Iron Bull's hands and closer to him - going for a debilitating strike or two. Close-combat was what she knew best; what she specialized in back in the Carta. A lot of their enemies had always been bigger than her, so she had found ways to cripple them in order to take them down.

 

It had served her well over the years, and she was the best at it. It was why the Carta had always asked her to get important information. They knew she could get in close; they knew she could learn whatever it was they wished to learn and then cut and run.

 

Too bad the last mission she'd been sent on led to the Breach and everyone around her dying - except for her.

 

All except for her.

 

Reinhild shrieked when Bull picked her up, holding her up above the ground and grinning victoriously at her. She stared at him wide-eyed, and his eye was laughing at her again, before he suddenly glanced down. She looked down as well to see what he noticed.

 

Her palm was glowing bright, neon green.

 

"Is that supposed to do that?"

 

She wriggled out of his grasp, dropping to the ground and pushing her hand into her stomach, looking around wildly; looking for the Breach that should've appeared so close to the Keep in order to make her palm glow like that.

 

But there was nothing.

 

Absolutely _nothing_.

 

She looked over to see Ser Cullen watching her with concern in his eyes, shaking her head when he went to move towards her. Instead, Iron Bull appeared by her side and blocked her from view of the recruits, herding her back towards the Keep with a hand on her shoulder.

 

She felt very small beside him, suddenly; not at all like she could make herself stand out in any way she wished to stand out.

 

Once inside the Keep, Iron Bull urged Reinhild back to her room, where he closed the door behind him and Reinhild started looking around for bandages or a face cloth or _something_ to smother out the light.

 

"I don't know why this is happening, this has never happened by itself before, it's only ever happened when a Breach occurs--!"

 

"Cadash!" Iron Bull grabbed her shoulders, turning her around and forcing her still. "Calm down. You don't gotta panic, I'm here. Nothin' can take me down. Especially not a green-glowin' hand."

 

Reinhild blinked up at him, mouth open a little; her fingers curling in on themselves. They stared at one another for a long moment before Iron Bull grunted, reaching down and lifting her hand to show that the glow had disappeared.

 

"...Maybe it reacts to your emotions, Cadash. You think of that?"

 

"...Right," Reinhild nodded, pulling away from Iron Bull quietly. "Right, that... that could make sense. Maybe I'll ask Vivienne or Dorian or even Solas about it... probably Solas, he understands the Fade the best, and he always likes talking about it, so..." She trailed off, rubbing her palm distractedly, and glanced back at Iron Bull. "...Reschedule that drink?"

 

"You sure about that? I'd think you could _use_ one, now."

 

Reinhild smiled, but shook her head, slowly removing her daggers; her hands shaking subtly. She was trying very hard to hide that, just then.

 

"No - I think I'd just like to look over the reports again. Make sure I haven't overlooked anything that needs to be done. I'll see you for dinner, though." She nodded, looking back up at him. "...Thank you, Bull."

 

"Ah, what for?" Iron Bull shrugged, looking unconvinced over her words but letting it slide; knowing when not to ask questions. Usually he'd push, but just this once, he'd let it drop. Reinhild was thankful, if nothing else. "I like spendin' time with you. Make it to dinner - I'll send Sera or Cole up to fetch you if you don't come by yourself."

 

"Cole will probably scare me by accident and Sera will try and scare me on purpose." Iron Bull grinned, and Reinhild scoffed. "Cruel Qunari."

 

Iron Bull laughed, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. She stared after him, gaze fixed on dark wood, for a long time, before finally pushing herself back to her desk.

 

She might as well _actually_ try to do what she said she would. It might just calm her heart down a bit.

 

She hoped, anyway.

 

~+~

 

She was in the training field, her palm glowing green and spreading wider and wider - climbing up her arm and into her chest and up her neck, swallowing her whole. Ser Cullen was urging the recruits far, far away from her, and Iron Bull was trying to tell her something, but the moment he touched her the green swallowed him up, as well, and they were both crushed into a bright green void that never ended, demons clawing their way out of her chest--

 

\--she awoke with a gasp, pushing herself forward and pressing a hand to her chest. For a moment she thought she saw something flicker in the corner of her eyes, but when she turned to look there was nothing there.

 

Reinhild pressed her hands to her eyes, breathing in and then out shakily. A quick glance showed her palm was as normal as ever, thank the ancestors, before she heard her door being pushed open.

 

Looking over, reaching for one of her daggers, she only relaxed when she recognized the hulking mass bending down to get through her door.

 

"Iron Bull," she whispered, curling her legs against her chest. "What're you doing here? This is quite unseemly - but I'm not really complaining..."

 

"Cadash," Iron Bull interrupted, smiling fondly; the moon reflecting over his face and throwing his scars into dark definition. He made his way to her bed, sitting on the edge gingerly; the mattress bowed in around him, and Reinhild rested her chin on her knees. "Cole told me you woke up quite suddenly."

 

"...I _thought_ I saw something," Reinhild muttered darkly. She jerked when Iron Bull reached out and grabbed her hand - the one that glowed - and she had to hold back the urge to yank it back to make sure he wasn't swallowed by the green. "What? It was a bad dream - that's all. We all get them."

 

"Indeed, that's true," Iron Bull nodded, his expression tight for a moment, before he shook his head a bit as if to clear his thoughts. He pressed his thumb into her palm, and she compared the sizes of their hands and wondered at how someone so large could handle someone so small so carefully. "And you can talk about them, if you wish - I've been told it helps."

 

"Do you talk to anyone?"

 

Iron Bull paused, staying quiet for so long that Reinhild thought she may have gone too far, before he smiled and shook his head.

 

"Haven't found the right person to share with just yet." He looked up at her, again, his eye crinkled with a smile. "But maybe I will yet."

 

Reinhild blinked, flushing a bit and looking away before turning back to him. "...Would it be alright to admit that I'm scared and I don't think I can do this and that everything happens a bit too much?"

 

Iron Bull blinked, thrown for a moment, before throwing his head back and laughing. It was loud and long and full, and it shook her to her core and made her feel overstuffed. He then squeezed her hand, bending down to kiss the palm; his eye looking up at her and laughing as it always was.

 

"Honestly I'd be surprised if you weren't and if you didn't." Reinhild wrinkled her nose, tugging at her hand, but he held on a bit tighter. "But know this, Reinhild - you _can_ do this. And while you can be scared, you're not alone."

 

He pulled away, standing up and heading back to the door. Reinhild's mind stopped swimming in thoughts long enough for her to jerk forward, calling out for him.

 

"Hey! You just called me by my name!"

 

Iron Bull didn't turn around, though, just pausing at the door and looking back over his shoulder with a smirk.

 

"Sleep well, Cadash."

 

"...Well don't go calling me 'Reinhild' and then reverting back to 'Cadash', Bull! That's just... that's just rude!"

 

Iron Bull chucked, but didn't respond and closed the door behind him.

 

And though Reinhild did not go back to sleep for many hours, she felt calmer than she had all day - thinking perhaps it _was_ nice to have off days every once in a while.

 

Just not too often.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my friend Reyne. Just because I said so, and because she made me some lovely Cullen icons. So I thought I'd try and return the favour and write her a bit of her Lady Cadash Inquisitor and Iron Bull fluff. 
> 
> I don't know if I succeeded, but gOSH DARN IT I TRIED. 
> 
> I hope I got your Reinhild right, Reyne!


End file.
